the beginning of what feels like an ending

18 sounded like freedom and birth
18 feeling like goodbye and endless changes.
I don't think I've ever felt so lonely or confused or silly or little. Everyone keeps telling me your whole life is right at your fingertips, what I would give to be at your age and choose things differently..

But then I choose something out of the norm, something different and I'm looked at differently.
It doesn't bother me as much as I expected it to truthfully. The words and looks people give me. Sure I feel a bit behind  and inexperienced when I'm with my age group, but I've always wanted to be one who would be the 1% out of the 99%.
                                                         I don't wanna follow the crowd.
None of us know what we're doing, just blindly trying to fit our feet in footprints left behind from others.
And I'm sorry, say what you want and look at me how you may but know I will keep walking but I'm making my own mark. My own path.
I want to inspire people with my bravery, my confidence, my faith.
I want my thoughts to stand out because they are so different from what we hear from the world.

These are the things I want from 18.

Birth of a Jade Diamond Parker and the freedom to be her.