Often times

I have this draft
Of what you’d say.
You weren’t ever all that good with words. But I was. And I know you well enough to know exactly what you’d say almost always. We could of had conversations with each other without one speaking, we knew each other that well.
So it’s all that I know you’d say to me.
And I cry when I read it. And laugh. And smile. And agree.
Because it’s almost like you’re there really telling me it all. Like you're my friend just talking to me in some parking lot in the car.
Idk helps nights like tonight.

Nothing’s new

Miss you

if you come across it one day

somehow I hope the words get to you. sooner than later but definitely one day.

I'm sorry for meaning what I said that night. The thing is I spoke everything that needed to be said, and it needed to be heard. But I wish it wasn't said, and would have never been heard. Thank you for holding my hand.

I'm sorry I can't give you what you want. I feel sorry I can't give myself what I want either. Thank you for the times in which we let our hearts not heads direct.

we were always in color, there was never just black and white. The extremes were all that existed.

yet you somehow were the one to make me feel steady and content.

I haven't felt that in some time now.

There's much to have to miss. 

you play with fire, you get burned

I feel too much,
you talk too little.
I'm too hard,
you think too light.

still

I'm scared of not having enough time, not doing enough, of losing you, of missing you, of not giving you the chance, of not achieving, of settling, of over-reaching, of not believing, of being too hopeful. I'm scared to be stuck but I don't know the correct movement.
I think I'm just moving my feet standing still.

the other side

getting to the other side of fear.
we walk along carefully so as to not anger it
not awaken it too early.

why are we tiptoeing
the volcano's in Hawaii
the geyser at yellowstone
the explosions are bound to happen

preparations are key
you don't know what you need till you realize you need it
you don't know what you're missing till you're missing it

Fear is unavoidable
Don't pack, clean, move, or hide
Just leave no words left. Because regret is avoidable.

to be blunt

so be my home.
be my late night crawling into bed after school and work combo day
be my sweet reminder left on the table in the morning
my arm around and hands on
my eye roll, laugh, smile
be my "I'm sorry's"
be my lack of sleep
my lessons to learn and patience to obtain
my headache and worry
be my wild and can't get enough
my strength in disappointment, discouragement, despair
be my first call, longest call

if you can be anything,
just be mine.

12/6

It was 3 minutes to eleven in front of that house that we sat and stared at

eventually you stole my eyes and it went black

you're soft. and careful. 

gentle. and sweet.

but passionate and I felt the words through your lips.

smiles always seep through and we laugh soft

close. and just staying.

feeling like heaven

I want that moment forever.

Hand on your neck, forehead to forehead

joyful smiles

it was a perfect moment,

you love me so well.

please don't stop.

what lovers do

whoever set fireworks and butterflies as the sound of a sweet surrender to love

never met a guy like I did

I feel on fire, hot and sweating. I feel the chills, shaking and frozen.

You are the extremes.

and I'll admit now, I crave the dangerous feeling that brings.

actions and words that bring fear or embaressement

you wash away with a shrug of your shoulders and kiss on the head

You are the unexpected sigh of relief and contentment 

You find it funny when I'm mad

And I think I can frustrate you better than anyone

I can not only make you lose the page we're on but also the entire book

So, I drive you a little crazy

but you stay. and you put up with it.

I like the way you handle me, especially when you got a hand on me.

you're not my first morning thought 

but my all night wide awake want

You're my realize what I want,
let me show you it's enough