run and go tell

I saw you in the tulips I unintentionally noticed today. Maybe we see what we search for after all.
              They seemingly sprouted over night and I forgot they were ever planted.
Most likely won't notice them tomorrow
and that doesn't sound like a heart ache but a new season welcomed.

the loud produces silence

I listen to the loud to make my mind seem more quiet. It's a constant headache of hearing the noise

and pills are temporary, this appears to be permanent.

I'm trying to yell along with it so I maybe I can feel the noise but instead it silences me numb, like a glance that speaks volumes-there's nothing left to say.

ahem

let's title this
"the ones who's love got wasted"

I don't care anymore to check how green your grass is over there in Arizona. I'm left staring at gray clouds in Utah. You got lucky and I guess I got mad.
cause love never comes to the swimmers. You found an island in the ocean and I'm wondering if my eyes have been closed this whole time.
envy's knocking, have you given up slamming the door?

here honey, you gotta swallow. choking it down I cough up blood, you taste like a 9 month waste of tears, sweat and anxiety. The amount of tears shed over you could save lives concerning the dehydrated. My heart's a little here there and everywhere now, you shook it up with a hurricane of fake 3 word nothings.
so here's to you. the one who thinks they know what love is.
It got wasted.

whole and full

The moon is round and so is the sun. the designated shape of being full of light.Yet we hear our bodies are meant to be in shapes consisting of only 1 line. so confused, you wonder why many don't look like they're shining. beautiful creations by hands we plead we could feel touching our cheeks as tears streaming. Cause that's what they say happens.

you were beautiful even before you started thinking it for just that one good day. You were beautiful before the likes and comments came flooding in so don't sink back into that now.

I found light through the moon cause my heart is nocturnal.

 I understand myself only when I hear the use of pretty words coming out of others mouths. you're not your body you hate, the light you struggle to see, the jealousy you try to fight.

            You're a couple million particles of every bit of thing you've tasted, failed and loved.
Give up on a simple definition.
 Perhaps understanding your worth is so difficult because only one can tell you in the right language, you just struggle speaking anything other than what you were born knowing.

brown eyed 2 am moon

2 filled seats beating on roads leading across the states. Unsure if we've got the energy to fully make it to the destination we don't even know the location of. We just thrive after the feeling of fingertips catching wind. Living of those every so often sights of messy hair, smug smiles and scrunched faces.
Moody often cause you didn't care to pack a map and plans known can then be prepared for, but your laughter sounding like cares forgotten is something I couldn't plan for. I realize preparing leaves less room for surprising. And I like those.
You taught me that.

Love isn't for us. Like a hot candy you know you don't like but try just to be sure your taste buds haven't changed their mind. Like a bandaid I keep pulling off to check if the scratch is still there. It is, listen to your mother and leave it be. Like an ocean I feel the urge to jump into but I'll always be scared of the deep beneath. 

but you told me I was the type who has the greatest desire to jump, immersing myself all the way in however, will always be seen with just two feet barely in.

you don't know me.

Slow, soft, surprising. I'm in about my knees now and I've come to feel maybe the fear of the deep is just my self thought limits taunting me. 

Like the first time you saw my heart softly exploding. dark and quiet and wet.
that's not the way it goes, that's the way it went. 

   Don't ever again ask me if I would of said yes to you then if you're saying no to me.

frustrated as hell with you about 85% of the time. Casual yet as uncasual as casual gets.
a crazy kind of love that can't even be called love. Because headaches result from thinking about definitions and spelling bees.

You don't know how to understand it. It beats slower than yours but fills up much more. And I've given up on trying to explain it. Fights about facial expressions cause you read me too well now that I have to watch the number of times my eyebrows and nose scrunch.

You came to describe my face and feel my heart and it's been a process. Countless times wondering why I haven't jumped off the ride cause you piss me off and you're not what I wanted but there we are still sitting next to each other as it just continues. yeah you sure got 'er... good on ya kid. An Australian who's mouth I gotta watch close. And these days you won't catch me saying I mind with lips always finding mine. give me the fights and misunderstandings, I no longer feel I have to hold my breath when it comes to you. You use to find your way back to me like I was your home. No wonder I find myself feeling homeless without you.

Don't ask me if I question what if. I don't. Not at any other time than 2am I mean. 

You're my moon. And whether you want it or not I'm yours. We got our own phases sure yet every night same face, same time. routine and habits. And I could care less about the idea of a change. 

Something for me I didn't really ever want in the first place and now you seem to keep being put in first place. 

My october shooting star. My 1/6 give in. My 2am club. My fitting other hand.
my hope left heavy. 

Don't get use to words written on your behalf. love didn't work for us. We're not each others. Just caught in the same wave, sharing the laughter knowing we'll eventually reach the shore. 

Back on our feet with clear minds. But we're not gonna get that at 2 am so we just don't worry yet.

Focusing on brown eyes and a face I've come to see as often as the moon.