its been a long while since I've written on here.
and quite honestly i sit here in my tears.
I never posted them.
I never showed them to you.
I'll never show them to you.
My blog. My journal. you can throw your ticket from that night away if you haven't already. I've already shut the page on all the little random things I've kept. It's on the bottom of the 8 journals I have stacked up for a reason. freak. I liked that journal gotta say screw you for that one.
Drafts. Labeled just with dates. Full of memories that filled a life. my life. my beautiful full life.
and i just left them where they were at.
No thought for a burial I would just never ever pay attention to them again and they'd die out eventually.
my beautiful full life.
where has it gone.
I find myself pleading for answers. how I've gotten here. why i'm here. Suffer to help her. suffer to help him. worth it.
Life never turns out the way you expect.
A big punch in the face it deserves. I've been stretched and worn out more than I should, left me only in hardened pieces of fake stillness. And i hate that i feel i've grown hard. It's made me hard and I'm pissed off most days. Mostly because I don't care and I know I should.
Life moves on and you're suppose to get over it. be okay with losing people. everyone. yourself. hey life takes and takes but
you'll get over it. things get better. you'll be alright.
the fact is I'm just not jade diamond parker anymore.
I have this human love
It shattered once or twice
It pulls me up and down
If it's filled with jagged ice
Everyday I'm wanting something I ain't having
